Ode to Muffin Top

O muffin top, muffin top. What would I do without you? Better yet, what do I do with you? You are my cushion in a busy crowd, my speed bump my shirt doesn't quite cover, the eye sore for skinny people. What would it be like without you? Could life exist without you? It can. For in the distance I can remember a time when you weren't around. Those were the days when I did whatever I pleased, whenever I pleased. I ate what I wanted and had 'self-control' when chocolate was around. Those days are far gone and now look what I have to show for it, you. I hate to say it, but I think our time is coming to an end. I enjoyed your company and all the comfort you gave me. When I had no one to turn to and that sweet didn't satisfy my emptiness I felt, you were a constant in my life. We have grown fond these past years and you continue to show your talents and how you grow! I need to separate myself from you and find something else to be my rock in times of peril. I have nothing but great things to say about you, but I must say good-bye. I've been able to shed a few pounds, but I've come to a point in my life where I don't want you around. You ask yourself what you've done to deserve this, and I answer, nothing. You are remarkable. Think of all the great times we've had together. You will have those great times with others, and maybe even better times. Thanks for everything. I bid you a farewell. Go, find someone who needs you. Please, don't make this harder for me than it already is. We need to go our separate ways. You're amazing and don't let anyone ever tell you differently!